i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
