found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
