My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
