If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
