just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
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