What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
