u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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