The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
