they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
