Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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