Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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