Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
