This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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