Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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