Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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