Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My vagina is officially offended.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
