You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
