Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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