I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
