Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
