smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize