Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
