I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
