Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
