I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
