we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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