I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
