dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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