Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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