your thong is hanging out like whoa
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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