Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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