Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
