I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
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You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
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Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize