I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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