I think my fart just growled at me.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
