just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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