i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
