This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
