did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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