we have officially lost it.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
