he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
