My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?