I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...