Sponge bath it is.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
if only i could text you this smell
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.