ADVERTISEMENT

• (319): View more from Iowa

  Sponge bath it is.

  Fav 2 1296 725

  share tweet
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter

  (310): View more from California

  Whats your twitter name

  Fav 8 970 2856

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (541): View more from Oregon

  So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap

  Fav 31 1333 4719

  share tweet
  

• (985): View more from Louisiana

  for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now

  Fav 59 1131 4933

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  if only i could text you this smell

  Fav 22 1533 4658

  share tweet
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.

  Fav 24 1388 4343

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.

  Fav 15 6133 1136

  share tweet
  

• (540): View more from Virginia

  Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.

  Fav 8 2939 872

  share tweet
  

• (765): View more from Indiana

  The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange

  Fav 10 3663 955

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (438): View more from Quebec

  I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.

  (1-438): View more from Quebec

  God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.

  (438): View more from Quebec

  Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss

  Fav 2 1151 664

  share tweet
  

• (318): View more from Louisiana

  she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper

  Fav 3 1049 565

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (636): View more from Missouri

  Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.

  Fav 9 490 1143

  share tweet
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.

  Fav 2 111 73

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!

  Fav 1 55 9

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (250): View more from British Columbia

  We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.

  Fav 1 40 8

  share tweet
  

Randomize