ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
