question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
