Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
