your room smells of hookers.
And success
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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