She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
