The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
40s are totally the cure
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
