the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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