no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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