Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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