my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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