That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She's the barista slut.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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