I can text with my tongue
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She bit a glass in half.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize