Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
