omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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