either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
thus making me awesome and them whores
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
