My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
