I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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