If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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