somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
