omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
