Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
my penis made a compromise with my morals
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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