yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
